Leila Lou

Refine and Purify Me

Malachi 3:3 says: [God] "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this
statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to
the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch
him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond
her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it
heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the
middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the
impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought
again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."
She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire
the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he
had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver
was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you
know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's
easy - when I see my image in it."

I absolutely love this story! We go through trials and tribulations, but it is not in vain. Not a single blow can hit until the God of love sees fit. God is not allowing us to be thrown in the fire and turning his back while we suffer. He is sitting there holding us through the entire process it takes to refine and purify us. He's standing at the flames edge feeling the heat, feeling that stress and heart break right along with me. BUT He will not keep me in the fire a second too long. When He sees His image He is glorified.

"The pain God allows is never more than is absolutely necessary to prepare His beloved for the blessing He wants us to enjoy." -John MacArthur

"If you are at a place in your life where you feel like you can't take one step without the Lord's help, be glad. He has you where He wants you." -Stormie O'Martian

"God delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." Psalms 147:11

trust

The story of Abraham and Issac...

I have heard it many many times. But this most recent time a couple weeks ago, my heart was opened up to a new side of this story. Sarah's side. Abraham was given a word from God to take his son and sacrifice him. Without hesitating Abraham took off early in the morning with Issac to begin is journey to the mountain God specified. I put myself in Sarah's shoes and my heart broke thinking what she must have thought. Its one thing to let go and trust God yourself, but Sarah was left trusting that her husband was hearing right from the Lord. If Nathan came home and told me God told him to take Leila and sacrifice her, I would honestly be ballistic. This showed me my lack of Trust in God and in my husband.

In Genesis 22 it does not talk about what Sarah was doing with this time it took Abraham and Issac to go to the mountain. But it states in vs. 4 "On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance." THIRD DAY.... It was probably a whole week that Sarah waited to hear back from Abraham. A whole week that she anticipated the sacrifice of her son. I can imagine Sarah on her face praying fiercely this entire time. Praying for her grief. Praying for her husband's grief. Praying for trust. Praying for her Son. Just being in constant prayer.

I'm working on that level of trust. Trust in our Lord. And Trusting my husband and his walk with the Lord.

To back up my prayers in trust...

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do the Lord. For the Husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, hhis body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Psalms 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Psalms 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalms 112:7
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

princess leila

My precious little Princess is getting so big. Preparing for her first birthday come November. These are her 10  month photos. I'm one proud Mom!

wife

I was going through my phone the other day and finding old notes. Stumbled upon a quote by my childhood pastor's wife from a couple years ago.

 Speaking of her husband:
 "I knew he had a calling in his life from God, but I didn't' know how I fit into it." - Carol Johnson.


Her words really touched me because that she put my thoughts into words perfectly. It explained how I thought of my relationship with my husband. Nathan has always been an exceptional academic. Graduated over an 4.0 in high school and graduated Suma Cum Laude from Indiana Wesleyan University with a majors in Computer Software Engineer and Mathematics and a minor in Statics. I was there for the college years and experience his intelligence with the few classes we took together. I didn't excel in academics like he did. I didn't have the passion to learn and struggled throughout the 4 years. I am proud of his passion and dedication to continue learning. Since his education years are behind him he excelling in his career. After graduation he accepted a job at McDonalds corporate in the Computer Security position. Although, it wasn't in his field of study it was such a opportunity and he learned a lot about the world of business. After 8 months he was offered a job that was exactly what he wanted to do. Although it was a hard decision, Nathan quit McDonalds to pursue this new job. Nathan signed on to be a Computer Software Engineer for Comply 365 Solutions a company he interned for during college and did some contract work with before accepting this full time position.  After 2 years has been promoted to Lead Software Engineer - Web Team. I understand these are just words and titles and on a resume they look great, but Nathan has a calling on his career. Its goes beyond his title, at 25 years old he is very knowledgeable and professional. The way he presents himself is admirable. He is such a hard worker and a dedicated employee. He loves his job and that is such a blessing. Comply was a start up company a few years back, but it is constantly growing and Nathan is blessed to be apart of its growth and success.

Now how I fit into his career calling... well I always wanted to be a wife and and mom. I went to college to be a nurse, but per previous post I am a full time wife and mom now. My goals and aspirations are not academic or career based. My husbands are and I have figured out I fit into his calling by being his wife. My goals have basically been met, but now I am helping Nathan reach his goals. By being his helpmate. To support, encourage, and be at his side everyday. Each evening when he walks in the door, he gives me a kiss, gives Leila a kiss, and I ask how was your day?? I hear each and every story as he vents out his exciting days, his rough days, his busy days, stressful days, fun days, smooth days, etc. And I have learned how much I am supporting my husband just by listening to him (even sometimes the content goes over my head) :).

Nathan is just beginning his career at 25 years old. He has many more years before retirement. I am excited to see where God is going to take us as he continues to pursue his calling. Sometimes I feel like I am just along for the ride, but I am ok with that. :)

passionate about MY LOVE

marriage. gosh I LOVE marriage. I am passionate about it. It is my ministry. I grew up with parents that set the bar high for what a marriage should be like. I heard all my life about what makes a Godly marriage. I have heard the teachings from my Grandma since I was a young girl what a Godly wife is. My husband and I had such an awesome premarital lessons that helps us in our marriage. We did not have a rough FIRST YEAR. It was anything, but. I grew up on a church that was centered around strong marriages. With all this surrounding me when I was young how could I not be prepared.

When Nathan and I were married we were each others first priority. We both loved and respected equally. We learned how to communicate early on. I think part of that was spending some time long distance. Long distance relationships FORCE you to communicate. And I am already one that wears my emotions on my sleeve. I don't hold things in well. Communication is key. By constantly talking and conversing with Nathan we are on the same page. Sometimes we get off the same page and we regroup and remember we are on the same team. Well alot has changed in the 4 years we have been married. One, we moved to Illinois with no family around. Again, we were each others first priority. No body else got in the way of our relationship because essentially we were alone. Early on we knew how we were together and we knew that children would disrupt how much attention we can give each other. And with our daughter being 10 months old, we are seeing the adjustments we have had to make. 

Life is different now. We have another human being to raise. (We still wonder how we are being trusted with that task, when we still feel like kids ourselves). Nathan works. I stay at home with our daughter. My sole job is to be that wife and to be a mother. I give and give and give...its draining. But through communication with Nathan and going to the Lord in everything I find what I am looking for. But Nathan and I are learning so much about each other and about marriage that we feel like its a whole new relationship. We are having to learn new things about this stage in our marriage. We are having to figure out how to serve one another again. How to love one another again. Because life is different and we have different needs and desires then we did 4 years ago. I beginning to think this is going to be an on going thing for our forever marriage. Life is always changing and we have to adjust. And we are in this committed relationship so we will continue to work at our marriage and build in strong and continue to get stronger.

Kirsten Kaiser Photography

Key Marriage Lessons 

Probably have heard some, but maybe not all.

-  you CANNOT change a person

- you marry your spouse's family

-  never go to sleep angry

- greet each other when one returns home

- be together. find hobbies that both parties enjoy

- wives submit, but you're NOT a doormat

- wives you are his partner and you are at his side!

- talk all the time about everything

hailey fast photography

I have always loved taking pictures, but over the years I have really been encouraged to do something with this passion and hobby. For Christmas in 2010 Nathan gave me my first REAL camera. A Canon dslr...a beginners one :) Since then I have been trying to learn new things and shoot in different modes and not just the snap and shoot ones. I have also learned how to do some photo-shopping. I am by no means a professional and by no means GREAT. But I think this is a talent and I'm loving exploring this new hobby. Check out Hailey Fast Photography on facebook! :) Here is some of my work. PS my daughter is my favorite model :)

Leila Lou - 8 Months

Leila Lou - 8 Months

Leila Lou - 8 Months

Leila Lou - 9 Months

Leila Lou - 9 Months

Manon - Senior 2013

Manon - Senior 2013

Manon - Senior 2013

Manon - Senior 2013

Ashley and Paxton - May 2013

Ashley and Paxton - May 2013

Ashley and Paxton - May 2013

Fries Family - July 2013

Fries Family - July 2013